How Can We Trust Our Judgement If Someone Says We’re Wrong About Them?

Have you ever had the experience of having a ‘gut feeling’ about something, only to discover that you were apparently wrong about that? That happens often enough. We may think someone is doing ok when in fact they are depressed. It may be in a case like that the other person just isn’t a complainer, maybe just a ‘grin and bear it’ kind of person. Or maybe we think our spouse isn’t helping with the housework or the kids because they think it’s ‘our’ job to do those things when perhaps the first spouse was happy enough to have you do those things since they weren’t complaining.

These kinds of situations can make you feel like a crazy person. What world am I living in!? Now it may well be that your perceptions are colored—or shall we say, clouded—by our past experiences in situations like these, and so we bring to the current situation cognitive baggage from earlier ones. Or, it may be that the other person isn’t acknowledging how they feel either because they are actively hiding it or perhaps they are just unaware. How can you tell, you ask? Well . . .

You might try a micro-meditation in which you take a couple of deep breaths and turn your attention to your own body and thoughts for a couple of minutes. This often clears the palate, much as taking a sip of water between different foods allows for a more complete taste sensation of each new food item. Then, allow yourself to experience clearly what is really there.

It’s important to acknowledge our assessment of a situation at the same time realizing that our information about it may be incomplete. Therefore, we need to keep an open mind/heart about what is really going on.